Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
