There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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