This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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