Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
