I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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