that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
