Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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