so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
