Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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