Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
