Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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