My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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