Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
