I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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