That's intense
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
