they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize