dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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