escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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