3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
