So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
