I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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