i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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