your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
