So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
