bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
