Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
