Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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