Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
