so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
