Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
