Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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