Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
