I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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