There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
