How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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