guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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