Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
