vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
