Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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