Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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