Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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