i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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