Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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