Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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