Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
