At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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