One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
