if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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