dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
