lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
