i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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