I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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