yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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