When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
