There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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