you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
