mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize