We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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