oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
