Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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