there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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