Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
